God wants MyHeart

God’s Purpose in Isolation

source: http://jaesonma.com/becoming-a-man-of-significance-pt-i/

Sometimes, we don’t know how to change, so God has to get our attention by sending us into times of isolation. I believe the Holy Spirit is leading me soon into a time of sovereign isolation. It’s taken me 10 years to recognize what I really want. You see, God will give you what you want to show you what you really need. I thought for most of my life that what I wanted was to be successful, to make my life count, to do something great in this world for Him. God gave that to me, because I asked for it. In the last 10 years I’ve traveled the world and fulfilled what I believe God told me to do. I was obedient to the heavenly vision, “The Blueprint” if you may have it, and I preached the Gospel from campus to campus, city to city, nation to nation. Souls were won, disciples were made, hundreds of churches were planted and yes, lives were changed. Yet, in the midst of all the supernatural encounters, all the signs, wonders and miracles, my heart at times, felt empty. Why? It’s not because God didn’t want me to do all the things that I did for Him. The calling was always real. But what He wanted from me was not what I could do for Him, in order to please Him, but what He wanted was my heart. God will never have you sacrifice relationship with Him to do ministry for Him. Most Christian leaders I know have more of a relationship with their revelation, than they do with God. They are driven by the vision, by the ministry machine and not by relationship. This was me, and God had to wake me up to show me that successful ministry, will only leave you empty and dissatisfied if you don’t have intimacy with Jesus and community with others.  

The prophet Elijah had to learn that success for God is different from success in God. In 1 Kings 18, Elijah has a showdown with the prophets of Baal. He encounters God in a powerful way, fire falls down from heaven and consumes the sacrifice on the altar, all the opposing false prophets are destroyed and Elijah wins, or does he? In the very next chapter we find Elijah running for his life. Why? The evil queen Jezebel had put a price on his head. He then tells God he wished he was never born, that he feels abandoned and wants to quit. God responds by sending Elijah into the dessert, then to Mt. Horeb into a period of complete isolation. This story of Elijah always boggled my mind. How could this mighty prophet on one hand have such great power and success in ministry one day and the very next day be completely depressed, suicidal and wanting to give up on everything? It finally made sense recently when I was studying this book called “Isolation” for my Fuller Seminary class. The author explained the 4-fold process of isolation in transforming the life of a leader in this way…

1. Stripping
2. Wrestling with God
3. Increased Intimacy
4. Release to Look Toward the Future 

 Ga sengaja hari ini gw baca sitenya Ps. Jaesonma. Without any purpose just wanna read something gw tertarik sama tulisan ini dan mulailah gw baca. Pas saat teduh tadi pagi gw sempat bilang sama Tuhan kalo kenapa rasanya gw suram banget semua hal menjadi kabur dan gw ga ngerti sebenarnya yang harus gw kerjakan buat TUhan itu apa? Gw jadinya bingung sebenarnya Tuhan itu maunya apa? Evangelismkah supaya banyak jiwa dimenangkan atau hati kita?

Spritual mentornya Ps. Jaesonma bilang gini

“Remember this important fact about God. He never asks anything of us to make Himself look better. The demands He makes on our lives are NEVER for his personal gain. We cannot make Him anymore God than He already is. He would be no less Lord of Lords if no one believed. Every urging and exhortation of God to us is for one major reason. He desires that we have the pleasure of knowing, serving, and sharing Him.“

And So I stop to be confused, gw tau bahwa Tuhan mau hati gw dulu. Tuhan mau gw mengenal Dia dengan benar, diperlengkapi dengan benar, encounter Tuhan dan menikmati Tuhan, mengerti siapa Tuhan sebenarnya. He want us to spread the love from the heart. Dia mau kita melayani karena kita menerima abundance love from Him so we share it with frens yang belum merasakannya. Kalau kita sendiri tidak menikmati kasihNya how can we serve people from the heart? I think we need to look inside ourheart now. good day everyone...